In 24 hours I have amassed an ARMY of kick-ass, beautiful, tough, fierce, funny bitches (best girlfriends ever) and men (the kind you'd want your daughter to marry) who have volunteered to help me fight and win this battle. Who are these people?! Besides the whole what-a-bummer-I-have-fucking-cancer thing...I am feeling pretty special. To be honest, I'm feeling completely overwhelmed with support and love. Overwhelmed in a fantastic way but still overwhelmed. I'll be reading emails and messages and think, "Wow. Who is this girl they are talking about? She sounds pretty cool...I think I want to be friends with her"...and then I have to pinch myself and try to absorb the fact that they are talking about me. Makes me tear.
I'm happy that I made a very public announcement even though it can be a little awkward. People don't really know what to say. I don't even know what to say! I have gotten a lot of offers to connect to a friend of a friend who is going through the same thing or just went through it and I have already reached out to my own friends who have gone through this.What the fuck! Why do we all know so many people with cancer? Makes me angry.
I've been a good girl and haven't googled. Much. A little here and there and then I start to panic a bit. Why freak out until I know exactly what I'm freaking out about. The one thing I haven't been able to stop myself from doing is worrying about every little ache or pain. Is that the cancer? Has it spread? Um...brain, can you just shut the fuck up already!
Breathe in. Breathe out. Three more sleeps until we know more.
One of my favorite appeals so far comes from my friend Gabe: "Kick that carcinoma in the dick!"
And then one to make you cry comes from my amazing friend Sarah. Holy shit is she talented!! If you're not already, do yourself a favor and start reading her blog. Bookmark it.
on a sunny saturday morning at the end of september
You rock.
ReplyDelete