Facts of (my) Life

Many of you are wondering about my chemo, I am wondering about chemo side effects. Yes, I am having chemo, followed by five years of hormone therapy. Chemo begins on November 28th! We decided to let me enjoy Thanksgiving food and start a week later. Always a bright side! As far as chemo goes I am getting a very standard breast cancer treatment called TC (Taxotere and Cyclophosphamide), I will have a total of four doses - one every three weeks. I will also be receiving a shot of Neulasta a day after each chemo round (this is to boost your white blood cell count). Everyone is different and reacts to chemo differently...I can only hope for the best. I will for sure lose my hair which I why I recently chopped it off. I love short hair ON OTHER PEOPLE. On me, not so much. Seriously, I'm almost looking forward to being bald after this haircut. (I'm sure I will regret saying that) Small potatoes...hair grows back. A very dear friend recently told me that after she went through this (cancer-chemo-hair loss) that she never has a bad hair day - she's just happy to have hair! From everything I've read I should lose my hair 10-14 days after my first round (probably the week of December 10th for those of you keeping track) and it should start growing back 6-8 weeks after my last round of chemo (last dose slated for January 30th). That's the part that kills me - that it takes so long after you're done with chemo to start growing back! There are many other side effects that I most likely could be plagued with...nails, skin, digestive, the list goes on and on. Like I said, I'm hoping for the best and will deal with whatever comes my way (no other choice).

I also wanted to share my final pathology diagnosis for those of you who may be interested. This is typed word for word from my report.

Left Breast, Simple Mastectomy:
Infiltrating carcinoma with the following features:
Size: 2.2 x 2 x 1.5 cm
Histologic type: Ductal of no special type
Histologic grade: High (3 of 3)
Nottingham grade: 8 of 9
Tubule formation: Poor (3 of 3)
Nuclear grade: High (3 of 3)
Mitotic rate: Intermediate (2 of 3)
Lymph-vascular invasion: present

Ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) with the following features:
Histologic type: Cribriform
Nuclear grade: Intermediate
Necrosis: Absent
Calcifications: Absent
Estimated size/extent of DCIS: Low volume DCIS (primarily in the tissue surrounding the infiltrating carcinoma, extending up to 1cm lateral from main mass)

Summary of lymph node status from all ipsilateral parts of this case combined:
Number of nodes: Four total nodes
Positive Nodes: No (0/4) total nodes positive for matastatic carcinoma in this case

Skin: Present, uninvolved
Nipple: Present, involved by DCIS in large ducts in deep nipple
Skeletal muscle: Present, uninvolved

Pathologic stage: pT2, pN0 (i-) (sn) [translation: primary tumor is a grade 2 and no sentinel lymph node metastasis histologically, negative morphological findings for isolated tumor cells)

Estrogen receptor: ER+ 95%
Progesterone receptor: PR + 80%
HER-2/neu: Negative (score of 1+)

So that's that on my big ol' nasty tumor!! It wasn't huge but it was kinda bad-ass; there was cancer in my nipple...in my nipple people! Good riddance, I tell ya.

I'm doing okay post surgery. It feels weird and not normal. Mostly it is unbelievably frustrating for me to not have 100% mobility. I'm doing my recommended stretches and exercise but everything is so tight and then just explodes with muscle spasms. My neck/back/shoulders have been really sore because no matter how hard I try, I just carry myself different. I wear my foob (fake boob) when I go out but that feels weird too - somehow it feels in the way (?) so I usually don't wear it at home. I did get a lovely (and rather large) soft, knitted foob from my friend Nete. I never knew she thought of me as so well endowed but I love it (and her) just the same!!

Me and my knitted foob! Objects in photo are larger than they appear.

Thanksgiving is this week and as much as all this cancer shit sucks (and believe me - it doesn't matter if you have the 'good' cancer, the bad cancer, ANY cancer...it's really fucking horrible and scary), I have so much to be thankful for. I truly, truly am blessed and I have never been more filled with gratitude. 

I just reread the above paragraph and it's like a harum-scarum pendulum! haha! Yep, that's pretty much how my mood is these days.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

PS - Ryder is doing great after his accident at school. He fell and tried to break the fall with his eyebrow...didn't work. After some blood, an exciting ride in an ambulance (complete with sirens) for him, and a delirious and frantic drive for me, it ended with a very brave, hilarious, and sweet 5 year old having 7 stitches. Kudos to Lyn, his preschool director, who rode with him in the ambulance and kept him talking and calm (just ask her about making 64 pumpkin pies) and then stayed at the hospital until Dave and I got there and she knew Ry would be ok. I love her, she is the best! She told me as she left that she was going to go home and cry or throw up, probably both. 

 

Ry when I first got there - still jacked up on fireman and ambulance rides and then Ry totally doped up. Look at that face!