I so got this!

I am so blown away by you (yes, YOU) my dear friend who is reading this blog post. You have made me stronger and more brave with the love and generosity you have shown. I would kiss you smack on the lips if you were standing in front of me right now but you will have to get by with this simple thank you. 

!!!!!!!THANK YOU!!!!!!

I just got back from my post-op appointment and things continue to go well. I'm healing up  good, things look like they are supposed to (mutant) and the final pathology report is what we expected - no new surprises. They tested 4 axillary sentinel lymph nodes and all 4 showed NO cancer. What a relief!! Chemo will be recommended but I will not have to have radiation. Yay - no radiation!!! 

The surgery itself went really well. What a weird thing though. There was lots of waiting and then they would move you to another room, only to wait some more. The most terrifying part was standing in a hallway with my IV hooked up saying goodbye to my husband. I did not want to let go of him! I shed a couple of tears and the nurse hugged me and said, "You can do this" and then led me through a set of double doors, down a hall and into my surgery room. It was very bright. From there, things went very quickly and before I knew it they were saying goodnight to me. Waking up is a hazy memory but the first thing I really remember is being in my hospital room and the nurse telling me that Dave was on his way. Instant relief once I saw him. I had some pain but not bad. I'm still stiff and sore but it gets better everyday. One very unrestful night in the hospital and then I was home!

Lovely clothing, so flattering and soft. haha

IV is in and we are ready to go!

A little drugged but very relieved that it is over and all went well.

The first time I stood and looked in the mirror was quite a shock. I had looked at pictures of women, of course, to try and prepare myself but when it is your own body and it is so raw and fresh....it kind of took my breath away. The brain really is a discounting mechanism though. Every look gets easier, less shocking. I am constantly creating my new normal. It helps that I know this won't be my forever look. Not that there was any question that I would be having reconstructive surgery but I can now tell you 100% I will be having reconstructive surgery! My mutant days will be short lived.

The food has been rolling in and it has been so fantastic! Wow. I didn't know how much we would appreciate it until this all went down but we REALLY, really appreciate it!!! It has been great. Our friends are damn good cooks, too! I've also been lucky enough to visit with some friends and although it kinda wears me out, it also is huge in my healing process. To laugh, smile, cry, love and be loved all at the same time...best medicine ever.

Not only food but cards, flowers and gifts have been rolling in too! I am so blessed!! I have the most thoughtful, generous friends. I am so appreciative - I wish there was some way I could inject my thankfulness into others so they could feel it, not just hear the words.

I'm glad the mastectomy is behind me and we can keep moving forward. That was a huge first step. I meet with my oncologist on Thursday and will hopefully find out what his chemo plan is. I've had many people remark on how brave and strong I have been...I'm actually starting to believe it a bit myself.