Q & A

A few questions that I have been asked a lot lately:

How are you doing?

HA! Um…not ever really sure how to answer this one. Short answer is I’m purposely in denial because otherwise I’m scared shitless. Most days I’m really pretty fine. (again, that denial thing)

Did you get the results of your BRCA?

Yes I did and I do NOT have the cancer gene!! This is really good news.

You’re having a mastectomy…just one or both?

Just one. Lefty is going bye bye.

Are you having reconstructive surgery and if so, when?

Yes, yes I am. By this time next year I will have one new fabulous boobie and the right side will be built to match (lift, plus or minus…whatever it takes). The reconstruction won’t start until a couple of months after I am done with chemo and it is a process. It will be interesting

When does chemo start?

Probably a month or so after surgery. Need to be strong and healthy!

How long will chemo last?

Don’t know exactly yet. Once we get the final pathology from my surgery we will make the chemo plan. Between 3-6 months and probably somewhere in the middle.

Will you lose your hair?

Depends on what drugs they decide to give me during chemo (again final pathology report will dictate this) but most likely, yes.

How is your work handling this?

My work is being AWESOME!!! I am able to take short term disability so I am off work from now until January 2^nd and I still will receive 100% of my salary. If I decide to go back sooner I can and I can also extend my leave past that date if I need to. After the first 60 days I then go down to 70% of my salary. I cannot even begin to express what a huge relief this is. HUGE.

How is Dave doing?

I think he is ok and I think he is following my queue…denial. But you should ask HIM! J

How is Ryder doing?

He is great! He does know what is going on, but just enough. We talk about what will be but it is even hard for me to understand and comprehend what is going to happen…it’s the great unknown! We will deal with it day by day just like we have been. 

How are you sleeping?

Fantastic now that I have Ambien. That shit is the bomb! I’m totally rested.

I wanted to sign up for the meal train but it is full…what do you need?

I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what I’m (we) going to need. But I promise to ask for help if I need it. A gigantic thank you to Holly for setting up the meal train and for all of you who signed up!!! We will not have to cook a single meal the month of November…you all are amazing!!!

Am I missing anything? Ask away…I really don’t mind talking about it. One really weird thought that came to me the other day – I won’t have cleavage for awhile! Wha?! That just seems so odd. Not that I really have cleavage now but if I want to make cleavage I can. I seriously can’t believe I am only going to have one boob for months. Really…that is just weird!

I feel a bit like a broken record but I cannot thank my friends enough. I have so much gratitude my heart feels like it might explode. I think – no, I know the reason I am doing so well is because of all the love and support I have around me. I love my friends!!!!

Tuesday is the day. As long as I don’t think too long and hard about it (the surgery), I’m ready. 

Fuck that – I’m ready no matter what!!!