Float On

Chest wall muscle spasms, phantom boob pain, impending hair loss, worries about chemo side effects, a bad night's sleep, and PMS do not bode well for a happy, stress free day. Spent most of this day under the covers trying to distract myself with a book. I've been really positive about everything so far (I think) but I knew this day would come. I've been bouncing up and down on the infallible high dive and just did a triple gainer into the chilly waters of the cancer pool. Consternation ties to my ankle like a mobster's paper weight, dragging me down under the raspy, nebulous water. I won't drown. I just need to work a little harder to keep my head above the dark, shapeless water. Relax. Cry. Breathe. Focus. Know I'm not alone. Love. Breathe again (and again). Float on.